Are you keeping your gifts and message to yourself because you are afraid of sharing them with the world?
I’ve definitely been there and felt that.
What will my friends and family think? Or worse yet, what will they say?
And I know I’m not alone. At some point in life, we all think: What if I fail? What if they don’t like it?
We are afraid to share our greatest gifts with the world, especially when it goes against the grain of the way things have always been done, or when it’s all on us, instead of some company or entity greater than ourselves.
To counter this fear, there are a lot of encouragers and influencers out there saying things like: “just do the thing”. “Do what you’re afraid of.”
I appreciate their enthusiasm and good intentions and agree that just doing is a really good practice to get into. It helps to build confidence overtime.
However, I don’t believe that following that phrase, sucking it up and just doing the thing that scares you is enough to propel us into confidence that lasts.
Sustainable behavior change isn’t a thing you just wing. It starts with deep awareness.
Knowing that you are fearful . . . hell, probably scared out of your mind, is actually just the start.
If you don’t know the real reason why you are afraid it’s going to hard to get out of that rut.
It’s like going to the doctors for a chronic problem and being treated for its symptoms rather than being tested to find the root of the problem. The doctors treat the symptoms and you feel better for a little while, but ultimately, it’s just a big pretty bandaid that has little or no healing powers. The only way to fully heal is to get to the root of the issue and to treat that.
It’s the same with fear.
Most people know they are afraid, but they haven’t thought about the real reason why and so, they can’t fully escape its hold.
Worse yet so many feel bad about feeling fearful, thinking they are chicken.
They beat themselves thinking they are the only one in the world having fears.
But, the truth is, your fear isn’t a product of you being a chicken and you are not alone.
It’s a product of you being a human with natural survival instincts.
For hundreds of thousands of years, fitting in was an absolute must. If you didn’t, you were ousted from the group (or cave) and lost all chances at survival. So, emotions like fear, anger, shame, etc. evolved to keep us in with the group and more importantly, alive.
The crazy thing about these emotions is that they actually have a much stronger effect on the brain than emotions like love, trust, etc. They increase levels of cortisol and restrict oxygen to the brain, inhibiting our ability to use the prefrontal cortex (the rational decision-maker) which is something that we will do anything to avoid.
After all, your brain just wants you to fit in so you can survive.
But we aren’t living in caves anymore and if you don’t fit in with one group, you have millions more down the road or online, so this response doesn’t serve us as it once did.
Even still, if you don’t put you, your ideas and your services out there you can’t mess up or be seen as the weirdo.
Your survival is NOT at stake.
I guess the real question becomes where you’d like to fit in.
With the status-quo or among the bold.
If it’s with the status-quo, you don’t need to do any digging. You can continue in your fearful ways and stand watching passively as life passes you by.
However, if you want to fit in among the bold you’ll need to get to the root of your fears because there hiding you and your purpose is not the norm.
Being bold and creating sustainable confidence is about
- Understanding the way the brain is wired (and has been for thousands of years) and how it’s seeking to protect you.
- Taking a deep look inside to find the real root of your fears
- Using this information to make a thoughtful plan for behavior change
If you are interested in learning about the step by step process and how it could help you to do things that scare the heck out of you, please sign up for a free clarity call.
If you think you are alone, I’ll say it once again: you are ABSOLUTELY NOT.
All the women I have worked with have had to do inner work to uncover and overcome their fears to be able to really show up in their business and life.
Our brain isn’t going to evolve in our lifetime or in the next, so if you want to make real changes in life, you’ll have to evolve yourself.